TJ the Tiger

Daily writing prompt
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
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The item I AM incredibly attached to from my youth is my stuffed/beanie baby tiger I got when I was like 3. He’s been through the ringer a few times, my dog chewed his one arm off. For some reason mum used red thread to sew up his wounds. TJ, my tiger and a pet turtle were both named TJ, I really liked the name. TJ has been everywhere with me, he has travelled far and wide – Florida, the Caribbean, New Zealand, Phoenix, New Orleans, LA, Chicago, San Francisco, we’ve both been lucky to do some travelling. He’s also been on stage with me while doing stand up. He is my security blanket, where I go, TJ goes; he sits next to my bed awaiting our next adventure together.

Another day.

Well, it’s Sunday, just another day. I awoke around 11 to take my “Happy Pills” and have just been puttering about. Tidying here and there, considering doing laundry, but also considering NOT doing laundry. I still have clean undies for the coming week, laundry can most likely wait. I have therapy tomorrow, which is always a bit of a struggle, I want to be going to therapy and I like my therapist, but it does mean I have to leave my apartment which always causes anxiety. I’ve become very good at hermit-ing myself away, I like staying home. This is a really pointless blog post, but I just felt I needed to write SOMETHING today. It’s short and sweet, but so is today.

PLaytime

Daily writing prompt
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
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Playtime is when time goes by too fast to notice the sun going down. Whether that is reading, skipping, bicycling, playing an instrument, playing LEGO, it’s all playtime if it doesn’t feel like work. As a child you have no concept of what cleaning the house is really like, so you play house and clean up and make dinner, it’s only as an adult that “playing house” is a lot of work and it’s not playing anymore.

I play video games and the guitar, my guitar teacher told me video games are good for dexterity….I don’t think he was expecting me to get better at Guitar Hero than the actual guitar. Whoops!

Challenges

Daily writing prompt
What are your biggest challenges?
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My biggest challenges are getting and staying motivated. Even writing this is tough, and I’m not sure what else to put down. I’m trying to stay positive and productive, and keep moving forward with the voice over stuff, but I find myself doing the *John Travolta Look Around the Room Gif* more and more everyday. I know what I SHOULD be doing, but I often just sit and panic on the inside and do nothing. This is apparently an ADHD trait, but I think it’s also a creator’s trait. Trying to create media or entertainment is quite draining, mentally; My mind is like trying to start a lawn mower – it takes a few tries to get it going.

That time of the year

Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve written a blog post, so there is a bit to catch up on! Most of my journals hop around through time and are mostly just memory-catch-ups. Which has been very useful since I seem to have lost a lot of my long term memories to depression. Going through these journals is really like a time capsule, my writing, my fears, my hopes, what I’m excited for, what I’m grateful for NOW. What I still despise about those times in my life.

I actually caught up to about this same time of year in 2005, Christmas and New Years. This has always been a interesting time of year for me, as a kid it was incredible!! All the Christmas magic you can think of, I experienced as a kid; the presents, the lights, the decorations, the food, the huge family gathering, carolling, golfing Brussels sprouts off the deck because nobody ate them, being sneaked our aunt’s “Special Blend” of alcoholic beverage for the year. We had such good times as kids! Now, I use “kids” relatively, I was a kid until I was about 25 ie. was able to go home and be with my parents for Christmas. Now, it’s just too expensive to fly and/or too dangerous on the roads to drive. It’s a 10 hour drive from Vancouver if everything goes smoothly…… aaaaand it never does so it’s usually about 12 hours on the road.

I don’t get any more depressed than usual because of the holidays, they’re really just another couple days in the year for me now. I didn’t even bring out the decorations for our apartment this year; Sarah was away visiting her granny and I stayed in Vancouver so I could go celebrate my best friend’s birthday in Victoria. This time of year is really just about re-connecting now, it’s gone beyond the gift-giving, and it’s more about the experiences now. I’m also super broke. So a no-gift year anyways.

New Years has certainly changed since I was a “kid,” I don’t always start the New Year feeling like balls anymore! I’ve learned. I took my time, but I learned. This year, we’re looking at karaoke for the ‘Eve. I’ll rock out some Aqua, as they’re doing the ball-drop in New York this year. I have second hand pride for them, they’re so great, I freakin’ love Aqua, Sarah and I saw them this summer at the PNE here in Van, they put on an amazing show. Lene, Soren, and Rene saw our signs: “Rene and Soren, you are Kenough!” and “Lene: the Original Barbie Girl!”

Anywho, ’tis the end of this post, Happy New Year everyone!!

Safety First!

Setting Up a Schedule!

Alrighty folks, a little more upbeat in this post! I spoke to my therapist about feeling stuck, she brought up setting a schedule and giving myself points for each achievement – I’m not doing the points thing but just having a basic, bare bones schedule of what I needed to do each week has made all the difference. Yeah, I know, most people have heard of this “keep a schedule” business, but I am just learning to use this skill. So far, for 1 week, it seems to be working, well, it seems to be having me working, which is even better. So here it is, my voice-over schedule:

  • Mondays: Full Episodes of “Some Things About Mary” (STAM) Released, “Mary Likes To Talk…” Episode research, website maintenance
  • Tuesdays: Research entries for next episode, more “Mary Likes To Talk…” (MLTT…) research
  • Wednesdays: Write next episode and trailer, record trailer, more “MLTT…” research
  • Thursdays: Release trailer for next STAM episode, record “MLTT…”, website maintenance, full episode prep
  • Fridays: Release “MLTT…”, website maintenance, full-episode prep
  • Saturdays: No working!!
  • Sundays: Record full STAM episode, edit

I’m trying to keep myself accountable, website maintenance is blog posting and ensuring all videos are up to date on my website.

You may have noticed the “Mary’s Fun Facts” menu has changed to “Mary Likes To Talk…” which is the same fun fact series, just packaged differently because well, I like to talk. I’ll have some new intro music to go with the new series name.

Staying motivated is the hardest, but I do think having a set schedule – something that breaks it all down into bite sized pieces rather than one massive overwhelming sandwich.

Feeling a little stuck….. don’t let the existential dread sink in

Do you ever have those dreams where your legs are really heavy? Like, you can’t lift them high enough, or your knees are too weak, or you’re actually stuck in some kind of goo? I’ve been having reoccurring dreams with this theme. It’s not a subtle theme, I clearly just feel stuck on what to do next re: voice over, work, and how i’m going to make money. *don’t let the existential dread sink in*

I’m trying to keep busy through the Winter while tourism is basically on hiatus in Vancouver, so I started the podcast, and I’m still working on a side audio series – “Mary’s Fun Facts” – I love random facts and I’ll be working on having a more set routine for posting trailers and episodes (as well as blog posts). *don’t let the existential dread sink in*

Anywho, I’m going to go relax a little, play some video games and blow things up (in the game). Have a great rest of your Friday!

Visiting home… there’s no place like it.

Visiting the town where I grew up is always a bag of mixed feelings; I’m anxious to see family and old friends, but I’m also ANXIOUS to see family and friends. There are expectations I put on myself, after high school, that I didn’t meet; it always really sucks saying “Oh, well you know, don’t quit your day job!” instead of “Stand-up didn’t pay my bills so my “day-job” was actually a “night-job” (3pm – 11pm) and I couldn’t make it out for any open mics and I ended up staying home all the time and just sleeping and smoking weed and working and sleeping etc. so I got really, really, depressed and basically gave up on the dreams my parents worked so hard for me to follow without financial worry.”

You know?

Yes, these are all pressures I put on myself and Yes, I spoke to my therapist.

HOWEVER!!!!

I GET TO HANG OUT WITH THE TWO CUTEST LITTLE NEPHEWS ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!! Little L and S do make my cold heart warm and even smile a little – grow three sizes, if you will? (‘Tis the season)

These two are great for the self-esteem – I’m Cool Aunty Beans

I am Aunty Beans to two little fellahs who seem to think I’m pretty great so far (don’t tell them otherwise just yet, ok?) – I got the nickname Beans from my kind sister – mum used to call me Mar-Boney so Jen was going to call me Bones, but she doesn’t like the TV show “Bones” so she went with Beans. It has very little to do with my farts.

BONES: L-R: Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz in the The Head in the Abutment episode of BONES airing Thursday, June 16 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (Photo by FOX Image Collection via Getty Images)

I got to pick up little L from pre-school, I haven’t seen him since August and I got the biggest hug!! He almost squished me to death! It was the best feeling. He’s so smart and so kind, but he does like to act out and be the center of everyone’s attention…….. I wonder where he gets that from? Weirdo. Even smaller S was full of smiles – he’s not a year old yet but is already figuring out who and how awesome Aunty Beans is.

Visiting home is always full of anxiety, but it’s also full of hugs and love and good people; Cranbrook it just Cranbrook, it is a beast of its own.

Went camping – will forever smell like campfire.

Hello! I went camping this past weekend, for one night, in our car. Car camping. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t think I can’t sleep on the actual ground and then get UP off of said ground in the morning. We (it’s actually Sarah’s) have a VW wagon, so we slept in the back of that. Sarah’s mum came with us and slept in her vehicle next to us, we parked close together so we could create a tarp-tent cover between our two vehicles to sit under. It rained like crazy, like a damn monsoon came through; it is November in the Pacific Northwest, so of course it did. We had many tarps to keep us and our stuff dry, lots of blankets to keep us warm, and lots of kindling and wood to keep the fire going, we were even able to have s’mores. The rain came and went a bunch of times over the day, evening, and night; we survived it all.

I really felt like Brian from “Hatchet”, minus the plane crash, the fear of possible death, and an actual hatchet. But otherwise, it was pretty close. I do have a ferro rod fire starter, a compass, and a first-aid kit in my everyday backpack, just in case I’m forced to live off the land in Vancouver at some point (*Cough cough* the earthquake. I’m not TOTALLY irrational).

Anywho, I am travelling home this week to see my parents and my sister’s little fam. I’m excited to see my nephews! I’ll be staying there for a week and I will be looking for more old journals to read from.

I am planning Episode 2 for Some Things About Mary, but I’m also having some fun with recording in between – Give a listen to my latest episode – Mary’s Fun Facts: What Happened in 1989? Who was the Prime Minister? The President? What song sat at the top of the charts the longest? What important wall fell in 1989?

Mary’s Fun Facts!

Give a listen and comment what was a new fun fact for you!

Safety first, then teamwork,

MM

What is good about having a pet?

Everything is good about having a pet. Pet’s provide a comfort that humans just aren’t able to. Whether your pet is a big floofy dog or an adorable axolotl, if you love them, they will love you unconditionally. Especially if you have food. I have two cats, one is a puffy black cloud, the other is a sleek, silky and grey; they both love in their own ways, sometimes that does include teeth and claws. Life wouldn’t be the same without having grown up with pets too, my first(!!) podcast episode is about having pets – journal entries from grade 3, some imaginative stories, a couple bonus Fun Fact episodes as well. Check out Some Things About Mary https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mary-maxine

Love your pets!!!!