Visiting the town where I grew up is always a bag of mixed feelings; I’m anxious to see family and old friends, but I’m also ANXIOUS to see family and friends. There are expectations I put on myself, after high school, that I didn’t meet; it always really sucks saying “Oh, well you know, don’t quit your day job!” instead of “Stand-up didn’t pay my bills so my “day-job” was actually a “night-job” (3pm – 11pm) and I couldn’t make it out for any open mics and I ended up staying home all the time and just sleeping and smoking weed and working and sleeping etc. so I got really, really, depressed and basically gave up on the dreams my parents worked so hard for me to follow without financial worry.”
You know?
Yes, these are all pressures I put on myself and Yes, I spoke to my therapist.
HOWEVER!!!!
I GET TO HANG OUT WITH THE TWO CUTEST LITTLE NEPHEWS ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!! Little L and S do make my cold heart warm and even smile a little – grow three sizes, if you will? (‘Tis the season)
I am Aunty Beans to two little fellahs who seem to think I’m pretty great so far (don’t tell them otherwise just yet, ok?) – I got the nickname Beans from my kind sister – mum used to call me Mar-Boney so Jen was going to call me Bones, but she doesn’t like the TV show “Bones” so she went with Beans. It has very little to do with my farts.
I got to pick up little L from pre-school, I haven’t seen him since August and I got the biggest hug!! He almost squished me to death! It was the best feeling. He’s so smart and so kind, but he does like to act out and be the center of everyone’s attention…….. I wonder where he gets that from? Weirdo. Even smaller S was full of smiles – he’s not a year old yet but is already figuring out who and how awesome Aunty Beans is.
Visiting home is always full of anxiety, but it’s also full of hugs and love and good people; Cranbrook it just Cranbrook, it is a beast of its own.
Mary Maxine 